I am blown away by the responses. This is the most helpful response I've ever gotten here. Maybe it's because I finally realize that you're right. I've spent a lot of time breaking down habits like drinking at tailgating and social events. It took a while to realize that no one else cared about my drinking, only their own. I now seem to care more about the bad memories I have with drinking and more importantly, the times I've put my wife through. We deserve a good retirement together. That's why I thought the change from vodka to beer was so good. It was just a new path to self destruction. Let's be honest here. I have been self destructing. And it has been easy to justify with the pandemic and the overbearing reach of the government and the strife seemingly everywhere. Why bother. I really hope that I'm reaching a turning point. I know my health hopes so.