Getting sober is tough.
But it's worth it.
I can relate to all you said. I figured I wasnt long for this world so might as well ride it out wasted until my liver explodes.
I drank for over 3 decades so this new life is overwhelming at times.
I get the dull aching feelings at times still. Like , "this is it?"
Then I realize this is IT!
This is the life I have worked my ass of for over the last almost 3 years. I've got it!
Is it all unicorns and rainbows? Hell no.
Is it better than the addictive cycle of hell I lived most of my life. 1,000s of times better.
So why do we feel such negativity in this New Life? Why is everyday not AWESOME? Because life.
The AV comes to mind first off. It will manipulate our minds to get us back to the hell of drinking.
Any thought telling me this New Life isn't great is just my addiction begging to come back.
We've spent so much time and effort seeking out euphoria through substances the we cannot find it any other way. At least that's what the AV says.
Ignore that fool.
I can't tell you how to get your mind right as we all work differently but for me I come here and interact with those who are where I was. This helps me regain perspective at how much better my life is now even when it seems dull and unfulfilled. Helping others just naturally helps ourselves too.
Look at the little things. Appreciate those things that weren't possible when drinking.
Most of all Hang In There.
It Gets Better.
This is a New Life. Like all things new it takes getting used to.