Originally Posted by
Angrylove 
He simply disagrees and says he has changed. I am still just pissed he gave up but I also feel that deep down I have hope he will wake up one morning and realize he wants to try for us and our son. I feel like I need to let that go but I don’t know how one releases that hope. Maybe that is why I am not curled up on the floor.
Maybe. You will come to all of this in your own time. Maybe now is not the time you want to deal with it. It can be overwhelming.
He is going to outpatient but doesn't think there is a problem - that's a problem! Of course he says he has changed because he actually has changed. One of the things mentioned in the post onegoodegg made above:
Essentially, the chemical tolerance induced by one results in reduced production and uptake of the hormones you need to feel good about and to invest in people you love. The longer your loved one abuses substances, the less they are physically capable of being the person in love with you. That doesn’t’ mean they don’t care, it just means they don’t get the physical sensation and reward that they used to. That often results in people drawing back, in people acting differently or coldly towards you, and in people prioritizing other things – like substance abuse.
As alcoholism progresses and the person drinks more and more, this becomes more and more true (generally). If you got no joy from anything, or some sub-standard small bit of joy, why would you seek that out?
For instance, while he may once have had deep feelings of love for you and your child, joy just seeing you, now the ONLY thing that really lights up his brain is alcohol, everything pales by comparison. You will often hear alcoholics say they are "bored" - because everything (pretty much) is boring without alcohol.
It takes time and healing (and sobriety) to start to heal that, if the person isn't committed to that longer term healing, the chances for sobriety would seem to be really diminished.