AJ143143

I’m on day 10 … I had anxiety most of the day. I felt off. I went on that super early morning walk. Then worked. Then felt so just off. Just anxious. I am on my “girl time” and that always has been a very hard time for me not to drink. I’ve always had super tough PMS (sorry if it’s TMI)… but it is night and day from when I’m not PMSing. I want to look into a holistic approach to balancing out my hormones. I’ve also had 5 miscarriages and never carried a baby to full term. I am 40 now and past the point of wanting a baby anymore but I will say I do want answers cause it could all be linked. Anyhow I felt so anxious and gross today… so I went to the mini mart next to my house and I bought chocolate. I was really proud of myself for not even thinking to get alcohol or wine. When I was in line there was these 2 girls in front of me in their early 50s or so. (I live in a super hippie kinda beach town). They were clearly coming from the beach and buying seltzers with alcohol in them. They were shaking and looked like they were potentially on drugs or having withdraw from alcohol. The girl who was paying set her backpack on the ground and to get to her wallet she had to pull out a gallon handle of vodka 1/2 drank. I wish this on no one. However, it did put my current anxiety in perspective of where it could be had I increased my drinking over the next 10 years instead of choosing to stop. I left the store with chocolate and ice cream and a sense of gratitude for sobriety