Chronic relapser seeking advice
Hey you guys. I've been on SR a few times in my life. I think the longest was about 8 months or so. It really helped me when I was consistent. I am at a difficult point in my life. I have about 5 days sober.
I finally got an internship at a place I truly love
A job I like
But certain members of my family do not respect my triggers. Sadly, they will use my triggers against me to bring me down to an even worse relapse. And then when I relapse, they will make me feel bad for being an addict. Lately, I have been thinking of reaching out to an inpatient facility that is halfway across the state. It is a one-year inpatient rehab facility. I competed 3 months of the program before but returned home when my dad got sick. The program isn't perfect as no program is but the sober community out there is extremely supportive, and I saved up to fly out there. But it would mean leaving my loved ones. I haven't left my mom since my dad died in 2020 and my mom and I are best friends. I've left home before and almost always regretted. I mean, would this be me running away again? But I mean how much more can I take? I spent the entire summer trying to get sober and now I relapsed AGAIN! In fact, I feel like leaving NY would be like letting that evil family member have their "win". I don't know what to do anymore. I am just tried of constantly working hard at my sobriety and then being left with the guilt and shame of relapse. PLEASE HELP.