So good to see you, Ican. I am so glad the pain is gone and you're back on track. There's a saying in AA that "we're right where we need to be", or something like that, and I believe it. The acceptance has to be there, and it comes from repeated failures and lessons, unfortunately. And we have to be ready to do whatever it takes. So, yeah I hope you are there.
After my slip-up last month I re-read the part in Alcohol Explained about why we have a tendency to forget how bad it was and think (once again) that we can drink in moderation. It made me realize I have to read my "relapse notes" EVERY SINGLE DAY, as well as coming on here - to remind myself exactly how bad it can get, how many aspects of my life are impacted, and how long it takes to get back, once I have taken that first drink.