Oh, I’m so sad for you, and her, your kids and grandkids. It’s hard.
Lots of good responses here, I have a toxic relationship with alcohol. I though it would never happen to me as I was married to an alcoholic man. I cannot control my drinking. It changed and I crossed a threshold.
i think a trip away for a few days or a week would be good for all of you. Not as an ultimatum, but you will see more clearly when you are not in the middle of the muddy Waters. You cannot see clearly there. I also echo that you are the one with the problem with her drinking and not her. She said that she doesn’t think that she has an alcohol problem, which tells me that you’ve already tried to talk to her about it. From what I can read of your story she is nowhere near wanting to address the issue. So the only thing that you can do is to protect you. I am so sorryThat you were going through this. It is tough to see someone that we love destroy themselves and destroy relationships over their choices. Stay close we will be here for you