Bunny.......I have a suggestion, if you are of a mind to take it.......
Many families do face these same kind of issues with aging family members who are no longer able to care for themselves----even when they aren' even alcoholics!
There are geriatric social workers who have a specialization in dealing with these kinds of family issues.
There is also the "Counsel on Aging" which offers lots of services for in-home help for aging seniors who have health needs.....they are very helpful people.
Assuming that you live in hr U S----every county, in every state, has programs for the aging. I suggest that you contact the social services department of your own county, that he.lives in. You can google the local county government and find the numbers to conact the social workers. Make an appointment and have a socil worker assiiigned to the case.
The geriatric social workers will know of all of the help and services that are available----and can support and counsel and guide you through this situation with your father.
They will know of w ays to help that you may not even know about.
And, just as importantly, they can give you the emotional support that you are going to, so badly, need.
ayou are look ing to become a total care-taker, according to your plan. Total caretaking is very stressful and exhausting for the care-taker---as you seem to be finding out.
Often, the care-taker, themselves bedcome sick from the overwhelming responsibilities.
This is why it is sooio important to seek out all of the help that is availale----because help IS available..