Patcha, I have always found your posts uplifting, positive and helpful. I am so glad you're here and shared that, even though I think you're viewing yourself through a bit of a harsh filter. Nothing wrong with being a bit blunt or curmudgeonly at times, haha. Sometimes people need that from us. Soo.. maybe some of the drinking urges are coming from that view you are holding of yourself?
At any rate, it's great to hear from you and congrats on your upcoming year!