Thanks very very much to both of you. All good advice. It's hard not to get riled but in a way, the need to rile me is probably also her getting rid of her own tensions, the same ones that make her drink, on me.
I have one ex alcoholic friend who urges me not to take it persinally but it's always hard to know what that actually means. I mean the abuse comes my way and affects me. I know none of the insults apply, etc., but still it hurts so much that instead of pulling together, caring and showing love, all she can do is hate. Why does she need to act like that? And I also can't help feeling sad for her, she was such a sweet, funny, clever beautiful person once. I feel so sad, so hurt, but in the end I'm also hardening myself, because nothing will change.