my AH and I have been through a lot in the past 11 years
but the last 3 have been really hard!!!! We lost our son to cancer April 21, 2003. After he passed away it has been one DUI and drinking binge after another. He has lost jobs and been unemployed more than not. He has been in jail 3 or 4 times I forget. I have lost count of how many times he has been gone on drinking binges. He has broken a bone from a fall while drinking and had several wrecks. Thank God none have been with other cars. If I would leave him home with our little kids for more that 1 hour I would come home to a very drunk husband and my kids on there own.. This makes it impossible for me to work outside the home. Money is gone.
Now the up side of him. He is with out a doubt the best person I have ever known (when not drinking that is) I love him very much. He is a great dad and husband (when not drinking)
Now with all that stuff having happened I am having a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I feel like he has robbed me of the right to grieve for the lose of our son. I find myself in tears over nothing. At al-non meetings I will feel like I am strong enough to talk about something and then out of no where tears come and when they do I can't stop them... I think the suggestion to exercise is a great one. I will try that. Maybe it will help.. I will try anything not to feel so sad and angry. I want to move forward not stay stuck in the pain. My AH is really working hard on staying sober Thank God.. He just hides his pain better.. I hate it when I tear up so easy...Thanks everyone!!!! Mary