My Dear Five,
I am sad that you've decided to continue drinking - I assume that's for the season? The one that lasts clear through and past New Year's? I'm also sad that I understand completely this type of giving up. I did it plenty of times myself, you know.
I can't talk you into making the commitment, getting the determination, or any other such thing and I know that because none of that worked for me either. It's an inside job, as we both well know.
Dee and Anna are both right, you know. You've "wasted" no one's time and there is no need to leave here on our behalf. We have been there, we understand. I believe you are worth every bit of effort folks have given to help you. You are clearly a man with a good heart and a heavy burden. It makes me want to cry a little bit, thinking of you taking your bottle off into the summer night to forget all about that part of you that wants more. But you know what? I don't think you'll be able to forget about that guy because you know he matters to people he's never met and can relate to every facet, stage, and emotion you are experiencing.
And I won't forget that guy either. I'll be over here pulling for him.
Love you back, dear friend I never met.
O