Brief update
I kept on drinking. I ended up getting pretty drunk the other night which wasn't pleasant. Other than that I'm ok. The drunken night I was not around my family and didn't drive. Aside from that night the amounts have been reasonable.
My body doesn't like the alcohol anymore, but my mind does. It's just so normal to be a drinker. Even though I feel like crap sometimes. Friends and events filled up the calendar again. Still working hard but also getting to play hard. Life is a bit less stressful, but it can't last.
This forum has been great for me. I appreciate all of you. Obladi, your wisdom has been life changing, thank you. Hope one day I can put in the work. It's true that I can't flip the switch on demand. Someday I'll come back to trying sobriety proper. Until then I won't waste more of your time.
With love...