I've got a case of the 'not good enoughs', as well, Magnolia. Think it played a role in my drinking too. Not as a stand alone, but as part of my overall feelings of lack of self worth; self loathing, and overall mixed up person. I'm over 2 years sober, and still trying to deal with the way I feel about myself. But so much better now.
It seems pretty common to many of us here from what I can see. The need to be 'perfect'. Goodness knows whom I'm trying to please, or to impress? I'm learning that I only need to impress myself now Magnolia, even if this means 'simply' to remain sober. After that everyone else can go jump.
It's good enough for me.
Simply by continuing the way you are, in not drinking, makes you totally good enough Magnolia. It's the first step. No longer punishing yourself with the cruelty of alcohol, but nurturing that part of you who knows deeply, you really
are good enough. Let it grow Magnolia.
Congratulations on Day 3.