Originally Posted by
Steely 
I think it's the way of recovery for many of us Peke. I was/am still in my head, often fearful, and self critical.
It has gotten so much better though Peke, and all I did was to stick to my original resolve to not drink no matter what the circumstance.
And even if I do not emerge as that fantasised 'perfect'l person I had my eye on in the past, I will have emerged sober, and would have learned more about myself. That's all I'm looking for at the moment Peke. Sober, and growing through sober experience. Oh, why meeeee! 😂
We're going to make it a Peke. Hang tight.
My experience almost to a tee. It takes some of us a Looonggg time to slow the brain down but as long as we are drinking we have zero chance of peace.
It's rough I know. 2 years in and I am still training the brain to be more positive. Not to be so critical and focus on gratitude for what IS good in my life.
Going through the agony of early sobriety will all be worth it when you come out the other side and see the positive changes in yourself that happened simply because you Do Not Drink Alcohol.
I do not believe any of us will ever be a perfect version of ourselves the way we picture it should be or have a perfect life. It's just not possible IMO.
As long as we are here sober and clear headed making the best decisions for ourselves and our loved ones I think that is about as close to perfect as you need to be.
Stay sober with us. Promise you won't regret it