Wow..
Many thanks to Skinner, CarolD and Yankinholland..
Yank> You gave me many great insights. I guess I've known it all along or why would I have been uncomfortable and unhappy with drinking? And the vital question:"would my life improve if I didn't drink alcohol?", the answer is a resounding YES! This board has been really helpful in the past 2 hours of surfing around and it inspired me to write a long letter to my bf asking for his support and at the same time denouncing ANY form of activities associated with alcohol. I'm not sure if this will go down well with him but I know he loves me very much and he will be there for me. If not, I know he's not the right person for me. Being sober for the past 2 weeks have been hard, I am exercising it helps me feel better but it's so hard at the same time. I feel a bit more confident about my success when I'm posting here; I feel less alone. Hopefully I will be victorious. Thank you all.