Do I have a problem with drinking?/Do I need help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: WA, Australia
Posts: 14
Do I have a problem with drinking?/Do I need help?
Hi all,
I am 23 and I'm not sure if I have a problem with drinking.Over the past 3-4 years, I drink heavily on the weekends to the point of passing out and during the weekdays I drink about 3 times a week. I drink mostly at nights and have beers in the day.I am still able to go to school in the day and passed my exams. Whenever I feel depressed the first thing I do is make a trip to the local bottle shop.
Over the holiday season I usually drink continously for a week or so, get sick and promise myself I won't over-indulge and it starts all over again. Writing this down actually made me reflect on my drinking habits. I started drinking heavily when i was 17, but it was only on the weekends and I was heavily involved in sports then so it didn't seem that bad. Over the years, I quit sporting activities and has since put on 20lbs. I look at my pictures from 2000 and I feel very discouraged. I have a bf who used drugs and alcohol heavily for 15 years of his life and we are trying to stop together but there are so many times we have fell together.
Do I need help? On New year's eve I was so sick and I heard a voice in my drunkeness. I felt God's prescence ( I had fallen away from Christianity since I was 16) and I was greatly comforted. Or was it because I was desperate for some form of consolation and help? Since then I have only drank twice and I am feeling very depressed now. I feel I need the alcohol but I feel very guilty for even thinking about it. Am I really considered an alcoholic? I had attended AA meetings before but it was always on the pretext of accompanying a friend. I am ashamed and don't know where to turn to. Please help.
I am 23 and I'm not sure if I have a problem with drinking.Over the past 3-4 years, I drink heavily on the weekends to the point of passing out and during the weekdays I drink about 3 times a week. I drink mostly at nights and have beers in the day.I am still able to go to school in the day and passed my exams. Whenever I feel depressed the first thing I do is make a trip to the local bottle shop.
Over the holiday season I usually drink continously for a week or so, get sick and promise myself I won't over-indulge and it starts all over again. Writing this down actually made me reflect on my drinking habits. I started drinking heavily when i was 17, but it was only on the weekends and I was heavily involved in sports then so it didn't seem that bad. Over the years, I quit sporting activities and has since put on 20lbs. I look at my pictures from 2000 and I feel very discouraged. I have a bf who used drugs and alcohol heavily for 15 years of his life and we are trying to stop together but there are so many times we have fell together.
Do I need help? On New year's eve I was so sick and I heard a voice in my drunkeness. I felt God's prescence ( I had fallen away from Christianity since I was 16) and I was greatly comforted. Or was it because I was desperate for some form of consolation and help? Since then I have only drank twice and I am feeling very depressed now. I feel I need the alcohol but I feel very guilty for even thinking about it. Am I really considered an alcoholic? I had attended AA meetings before but it was always on the pretext of accompanying a friend. I am ashamed and don't know where to turn to. Please help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
BIG Hugs to you ((((dreamutopia))))..........I just wanted to send you a welcome. I also wanted to add that I discovered that most folks don't question if they are alcoholic or not unless they really are. No one can tell you if you are or not, but your story sounds pretty similar to mine and I most definately AM an alcoholic.
Take care and keep reading and posting here at SR........absolutely WONDERFUL people here!!!
Take care and keep reading and posting here at SR........absolutely WONDERFUL people here!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome to SR! 
Glad to see you here looking for answers.
My name is Carol...an alcoholic in AA recovery.
There is lots of info and support here...the Alcoholism Information forum is a good place to read.
Look at the top sticky..."Quitting"
Some post will apply to you some will not.
There are answers...and support and help for you.
You are not alone...
Glad to see you here looking for answers.
My name is Carol...an alcoholic in AA recovery.
There is lots of info and support here...the Alcoholism Information forum is a good place to read.
Look at the top sticky..."Quitting"
Some post will apply to you some will not.
There are answers...and support and help for you.
You are not alone...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
I am 23 and I'm not sure if I have a problem with drinking.
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
Am I really considered an alcoholic?
"Would my life improve if I didn't drink alcohol?"
If you answer 'Yes', then you can stop asking questions and start working on your plan to break out of your prison cell.
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
I had attended AA meetings before but it was always on the pretext of accompanying a friend.
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
Whenever I feel depressed the first thing I do is make a trip to the local bottle shop.
None of this would have been possible for drunk, fat, depressed and lazy YankInHolland. Call me an alcoholic or call me a mozzerella liver sundae.
The label is arbitrary.
The results however, are entirely up to you.
Peace and Sobriety,
Yank
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: WA, Australia
Posts: 14
Wow..
Many thanks to Skinner, CarolD and Yankinholland..
Yank> You gave me many great insights. I guess I've known it all along or why would I have been uncomfortable and unhappy with drinking? And the vital question:"would my life improve if I didn't drink alcohol?", the answer is a resounding YES! This board has been really helpful in the past 2 hours of surfing around and it inspired me to write a long letter to my bf asking for his support and at the same time denouncing ANY form of activities associated with alcohol. I'm not sure if this will go down well with him but I know he loves me very much and he will be there for me. If not, I know he's not the right person for me. Being sober for the past 2 weeks have been hard, I am exercising it helps me feel better but it's so hard at the same time. I feel a bit more confident about my success when I'm posting here; I feel less alone. Hopefully I will be victorious. Thank you all.
Many thanks to Skinner, CarolD and Yankinholland..
Yank> You gave me many great insights. I guess I've known it all along or why would I have been uncomfortable and unhappy with drinking? And the vital question:"would my life improve if I didn't drink alcohol?", the answer is a resounding YES! This board has been really helpful in the past 2 hours of surfing around and it inspired me to write a long letter to my bf asking for his support and at the same time denouncing ANY form of activities associated with alcohol. I'm not sure if this will go down well with him but I know he loves me very much and he will be there for me. If not, I know he's not the right person for me. Being sober for the past 2 weeks have been hard, I am exercising it helps me feel better but it's so hard at the same time. I feel a bit more confident about my success when I'm posting here; I feel less alone. Hopefully I will be victorious. Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
Yank> You gave me many great insights. I guess I've known it all along or why would I have been uncomfortable and unhappy with drinking? And the vital question:"would my life improve if I didn't drink alcohol?", the answer is a resounding YES!
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
...to write a long letter to my bf asking for his support and at the same time denouncing ANY form of activities associated with alcohol.
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
I feel a bit more confident about my success when I'm posting here; I feel less alone.
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
Hopefully I will be victorious.
Consider changing your last statement to,
"UNDOUBTEDLY, I WILL be victorious"
Peace and Sobriety,
Yank
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi there dreamutopia 
another Aussie here , I am in Melbourne , the " Eastern States " you know ! LOL
Yank is right , people who do not have a problem with alcohol do not ask the question .
My name is lee and I am an Alcoholic also in AA recovery.
Why dont you give them a ring? Anyone you speak to there will definitely know exactly how you feel. You do not have to do this alone . The shame and guilt will pass, the longer you are without alcohol. For me , my depression lifted also , once I stopped drinking , this is not always the case, but eliminating the alcohol gives a clearer picture.
Also it would be a good idea to have an honest chat to your GP.
Feel free to e-mail . or PM me anytime
HUGX
Lee
another Aussie here , I am in Melbourne , the " Eastern States " you know ! LOLYank is right , people who do not have a problem with alcohol do not ask the question .
My name is lee and I am an Alcoholic also in AA recovery.
Why dont you give them a ring? Anyone you speak to there will definitely know exactly how you feel. You do not have to do this alone . The shame and guilt will pass, the longer you are without alcohol. For me , my depression lifted also , once I stopped drinking , this is not always the case, but eliminating the alcohol gives a clearer picture.
Also it would be a good idea to have an honest chat to your GP.
Feel free to e-mail . or PM me anytime
HUGX
Lee
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi dream, my name is kath and i too travel this same path, the battle with the booze.
i am a weeeeee bit older than you (45) but i can tell you it is probably better to get a handle on this at your age than go through another 20 yrs of trauma hon
you said you havent drunk for 2 weeks, and are exercising, congratulations that is a great start, you should be feeling some improvement physically by now, just keep going.
i agree with lee, give AA a ring, they also have a website over here and there are lots of different meetings around. do you know how to personal message (PM) on here, i might PM and then you can respond it should just pop up on your screen.
i'll try that now, hopefully we can link up on the net, us locals haha
cheers and take care
kath
i am a weeeeee bit older than you (45) but i can tell you it is probably better to get a handle on this at your age than go through another 20 yrs of trauma hon
you said you havent drunk for 2 weeks, and are exercising, congratulations that is a great start, you should be feeling some improvement physically by now, just keep going.
i agree with lee, give AA a ring, they also have a website over here and there are lots of different meetings around. do you know how to personal message (PM) on here, i might PM and then you can respond it should just pop up on your screen.
i'll try that now, hopefully we can link up on the net, us locals haha
cheers and take care
kath
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Hiya Dream,
I quit drinking on November 28th, 2005 - after a Thanksgiving that was wonderful - by everyone else's account - I don't actually remember any of it past my first drink that day. I never ever ever want to go back to that life. Congratulations for your 2 weeks! That is awesome... the first 2 - 3 weeks were the hardest for me. I had never been able to make it more than a few days and the occasional 2 weeks before this "try". Just never stop giving yourself opportunites to succeed. Never give up on you. You are doing it and like everyone has said... your true friends will stick with you and support you and evolve with you or they won't. You can only control you. I wish you only the best.
Suga
I quit drinking on November 28th, 2005 - after a Thanksgiving that was wonderful - by everyone else's account - I don't actually remember any of it past my first drink that day. I never ever ever want to go back to that life. Congratulations for your 2 weeks! That is awesome... the first 2 - 3 weeks were the hardest for me. I had never been able to make it more than a few days and the occasional 2 weeks before this "try". Just never stop giving yourself opportunites to succeed. Never give up on you. You are doing it and like everyone has said... your true friends will stick with you and support you and evolve with you or they won't. You can only control you. I wish you only the best.
Suga
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
I will just say that if I drank the way you do (and I did) I would consider myself an alcoholic. Normal drinkers dont question their drinking. It just isnt an issue. They dont notice it, and nobody has mentioned it. You have already been questioning it. If you FEEL like you NEED to drink,you have a problem, in my opinion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: WA, Australia
Posts: 14
I appreciate everyone's concern and well-wishes, this is a great place to be since I have no courage to walk into an AA meeting and I personally have reservations about a religious/spiritual-oriented recovery program. However I came across SOS (Save our selves) online and thought that is the way for me. Yank's statement will always stick with me:
Do. Or Do not. There is no try.
Right now this forum is my support group and maybe one day I'll meet some one in real life, who knows?
Do. Or Do not. There is no try.
Right now this forum is my support group and maybe one day I'll meet some one in real life, who knows?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by YankInHolland
Call me an alcoholic or call me a mozzerella liver sundae.
The label is arbitrary.
The results however, are entirely up to you.
Peace and Sobriety,
Yank
The label is arbitrary.
The results however, are entirely up to you.
Peace and Sobriety,
Yank
I love this. I have "stigmaphobia" but I'll keep remembering this quote. You should too, Utopia.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
Dreamutopia,
Welcome! I loved your honesty in your post. Believe it or not, as you ask for help and look for help, you are also helping at the same time. It helps others to read your story and in turn identify the same patterns, feelings and emotions within themselves. Because of the courage you show by being honest, you help others like me to also look at ourselves and be honest as well along with you.
You are not alone and this board is a great place to come and find support and encouragement and pats on the back, that sometimes you swear you really can feel!
I truly believe you felt a presence, some would believe it was the strength of yourself speaking or God, whatever it is, it brought you here and you have made a step and a decision and I am happy to be sharing this board with you.
Thanks again for your honesty.
Welcome! I loved your honesty in your post. Believe it or not, as you ask for help and look for help, you are also helping at the same time. It helps others to read your story and in turn identify the same patterns, feelings and emotions within themselves. Because of the courage you show by being honest, you help others like me to also look at ourselves and be honest as well along with you.
You are not alone and this board is a great place to come and find support and encouragement and pats on the back, that sometimes you swear you really can feel!
I truly believe you felt a presence, some would believe it was the strength of yourself speaking or God, whatever it is, it brought you here and you have made a step and a decision and I am happy to be sharing this board with you.
Thanks again for your honesty.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
Yank's statement will always stick with me:
Do. Or Do not. There is no try.
Do. Or Do not. There is no try.
Now the Mozzarella Liver Sundae quote - THAT was mine!
On a serious note, I am a believer in the rational recovery program. Check it out at www.rational.org.
There is one program that is better than all the others, and that is the program the you find works best for you. Find it and work it.
Peace and Sobriety,
Yank
Jack
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pocono Mts. of PA
Posts: 115
Hi...and keep on dreaming. If you need someone in "real life" to tell you, ' yes, you're an alcoholic' or, 'no it's completely normal to use alcohol the way you do', just look in a mirror. Ask yourself if you know anyone who uses alcohol the way you do? Ask yourself why you wrote here about your drinking habits. Ask yourself why the people who replied to your post, recovering alcoholics all, would say what they did.
If you need a face to face, "real life" answer make an appointment with a counselor of some kind and show them a print out of your post here. See what that person says.
I'm not trying to be cruel or cold but you have a problem that you can fix. Ask your best friend to advise you. Get input from people whose opinion you respect.
I'm sure you'll find the answer to your question.
God bless
If you need a face to face, "real life" answer make an appointment with a counselor of some kind and show them a print out of your post here. See what that person says.
I'm not trying to be cruel or cold but you have a problem that you can fix. Ask your best friend to advise you. Get input from people whose opinion you respect.
I'm sure you'll find the answer to your question.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by dreamutopia
this is a great place to be since I have no courage to walk into an AA meeting and I personally have reservations about a religious/spiritual-oriented recovery program.
Im curious though,....what would you do if you were court ordered and you had to go to AA????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: WA, Australia
Posts: 14
Hi all,
Thanks for replying sorry I haven't been looking at the thread that I started! LOL.
It;s been about a week since I started my first post, and there has been a lot of internal drama and turmoil. Where should I begin? I guess I shall begin this by stating that I have come to terms with my alcoholism and I look back, I think of all the things I have done and I am deeply ashamed. While growing up, I was the angsty teen but soon I found solace in drugs and alcohol. I got by life using mind-altering substances and now I'm clean, I feel I have no where to hide. I am hurting a lot, but the other side of me is glad that to be hurting, because all this is real. At least I'm not fooling myself anymore.
Winelover and Yank> It doesn't matter if people want to call us alcoholics or whatever. Maybe that was what stigmatised me but once you see through all that labelling, it's what you feel inside that counts.
Etimee> I thank you for taking the time to read the post and your encouragements. Honesty about myself to other people is not my forte, I have always been the type to put up a good front about myself. But perhaps because no one knows me in person and also I don't feel I'm being judged while I'm here. The posters are the greatest people ever!
Lee> I feel that there is no one program that fits everyone. I am currently looking at SOS and MM, perhaps I'll find some answers there. THe seeking path is not easy but I' will remain focused.
Jack> Thanks for your concern. I have found the opinions of people I respect and they happen to be posting here, so it's all good for now. And I have found the answer to my question, I'm already working on the solution.
Earlybird> If I were court-ordered I don't think I have a choice. My motto in life has always to keep an open mind about everything (that's also how I got into trouble with drugs and alcohol) and don't judge something too quickly. As much as I have fear, I also like challenges and I like to do things that I'm afraid of. I feel like my personality is 'emerging' and I'm re-discovering many things about myself.
Today I just cleaned out my room. 3 1/2 hours and 2 big trashbags later, I felt heaps better. I was feeling depressed when I got home after meeting a friend. I opened the alcohol cabinet, took a longing look at the jack daniels and a lump formed in my throat. THe head in my voice said:" Do you want to be a **** up for the rest of your life?" I poured myself a glass of water, gulped it down and felt tears brimming in my eyes. Then I slammed the cabinet door shut and drank another glass of water. I thought that if I wanted to clean up my life, I should start instilling some form of self-discipline. And so the cleaning began. THere was so much rubbish, cigarette packs, bottles, unwanted clothes and bags that was parallel to the 'rubbish' in my life. It felt great to throw out all these things that I didn't need and then I focused on cleaning my room area by area. It felt like a great accomplishment at the end of it all.
I will remain positive at the back of my head regardless of the times that I may get depressed. It will be very hard, but I'd rather go through some pain now then to be numb my whole life. Thank you all once again for being on this journey with me and trust that I will do the same for you.
Thanks for replying sorry I haven't been looking at the thread that I started! LOL.
It;s been about a week since I started my first post, and there has been a lot of internal drama and turmoil. Where should I begin? I guess I shall begin this by stating that I have come to terms with my alcoholism and I look back, I think of all the things I have done and I am deeply ashamed. While growing up, I was the angsty teen but soon I found solace in drugs and alcohol. I got by life using mind-altering substances and now I'm clean, I feel I have no where to hide. I am hurting a lot, but the other side of me is glad that to be hurting, because all this is real. At least I'm not fooling myself anymore.
Winelover and Yank> It doesn't matter if people want to call us alcoholics or whatever. Maybe that was what stigmatised me but once you see through all that labelling, it's what you feel inside that counts.
Etimee> I thank you for taking the time to read the post and your encouragements. Honesty about myself to other people is not my forte, I have always been the type to put up a good front about myself. But perhaps because no one knows me in person and also I don't feel I'm being judged while I'm here. The posters are the greatest people ever!
Lee> I feel that there is no one program that fits everyone. I am currently looking at SOS and MM, perhaps I'll find some answers there. THe seeking path is not easy but I' will remain focused.
Jack> Thanks for your concern. I have found the opinions of people I respect and they happen to be posting here, so it's all good for now. And I have found the answer to my question, I'm already working on the solution.
Earlybird> If I were court-ordered I don't think I have a choice. My motto in life has always to keep an open mind about everything (that's also how I got into trouble with drugs and alcohol) and don't judge something too quickly. As much as I have fear, I also like challenges and I like to do things that I'm afraid of. I feel like my personality is 'emerging' and I'm re-discovering many things about myself.
Today I just cleaned out my room. 3 1/2 hours and 2 big trashbags later, I felt heaps better. I was feeling depressed when I got home after meeting a friend. I opened the alcohol cabinet, took a longing look at the jack daniels and a lump formed in my throat. THe head in my voice said:" Do you want to be a **** up for the rest of your life?" I poured myself a glass of water, gulped it down and felt tears brimming in my eyes. Then I slammed the cabinet door shut and drank another glass of water. I thought that if I wanted to clean up my life, I should start instilling some form of self-discipline. And so the cleaning began. THere was so much rubbish, cigarette packs, bottles, unwanted clothes and bags that was parallel to the 'rubbish' in my life. It felt great to throw out all these things that I didn't need and then I focused on cleaning my room area by area. It felt like a great accomplishment at the end of it all.
I will remain positive at the back of my head regardless of the times that I may get depressed. It will be very hard, but I'd rather go through some pain now then to be numb my whole life. Thank you all once again for being on this journey with me and trust that I will do the same for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Welcome to the board, dreamutopia, hang in there. 
I am a fan of the SMART Recovery program, check it out: www.smartrecover.org
I am a fan of the SMART Recovery program, check it out: www.smartrecover.org Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Dream how are you today ?
I loved your parallel of cleaning your room and "cleaning your life" I did that with the same thoughts too. I am so glad that you are forging ahead, great job on ignoring the booze, I used to drink copious glasses of water too, sure helps.
just wanted to say Hi and a great job
HUGX
Lee
I loved your parallel of cleaning your room and "cleaning your life" I did that with the same thoughts too. I am so glad that you are forging ahead, great job on ignoring the booze, I used to drink copious glasses of water too, sure helps.
just wanted to say Hi and a great job
HUGX
Lee
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