Originally Posted by
Strawbz11 
The relationship made me sad alot. Confused alot. But he filled me with hope and promises. He leant on me alot and at times did very little back. He didn't even get me a birthday card last month as we were in a rocky stage.
Hi Strawbz, well, he is not relationship material at all, not even a little bit.
He filled you with hope and promises. Was any of that through actions or just his words and promises? It's easy to say things (like, I can quit drinking on my own), quite another thing to actually provide the actions that accomplish that.
It doesn't surprise me that he defaults back to his ex. At some point, maybe even before he was so far along in his addiction, they might have had an ok relationship. I have read that alcoholics tend to revert to thoughts of the past at some point. It's not surprising since the present, for them is probably not all that great and the future just looks bleak.
You will be ok, I know it can cause panic - how will you get through. Take good care of yourself, try to rest when you can, get outside, eat well. Deep breathing exercises can help to calm you. Post as often as you feel like it.
Make a list of all the terrible things he has said and done and refer to it whenever you start thinking about what you are missing.