Me again needing support
I'm struggling today. I split with my boyfriend who was 19 months sober 3 weeks ago today. He had me allover the place for 18 months. He confused me alot. I never felt secure and never felt he wad truly honest.
He had too many dramas around him regarding women. Particularly his ex. Who claims he was messaging a string of women and cheating on her. He tried to commit suicide in 2020 and text her to say goodbye. She phoned an ambulance. Even though he has alot of bitterness towards her and even resents her for certain things. They have this weird sort of link. They text to check on the other and it at times got too emotional between them. It was like they were taking it in turns to be confused about feelings. She got catty towards me and he allowed her to affect us.
Over time he borrowed loads of money. He promised me the world. He was a worker usually but was out of work when we got together. He went back just before we split.
He has depression
severe chronic back pain. He takes a range of tablets which gave him unpleasant side effects.
hes alone in terms of family and friends. No social life unless he's at work. He doesn't acknowledge Christmas etc because he hates it.
He seemed to be obsessed with clothes and appearance. He would often comment on what he'd prefer on me and sometimes I'd feel upset and tell him I felt he was finding fault in Mt style.
He had these bursts of anger and he would scream and loose his temper. Throw me out. Refuse to listen. Blame me for all our problems.
In the end he was always on his phone. My gut told me he was talking with someone else. I checked and he was messaging his ex saying he was crying over memories. It made my heart sink. A few days later we broke up as he felt uncomfortable with me and I was sick of being patient and being in the dog house.
The relationship made me sad alot. Confused alot. But he filled me with hope and promises. He leant on me alot and at times did very little back. He didn't even get me a birthday card last month as we were in a rocky stage.
he messaged me Friday saying he'd pay me money he owed me on the 4th. That money hasn't arrived. His cousin told him off yesterday for playing games and ignoring me. He has cut him off. So he's now lost the only other family member in touch with him. I feel terrible but so sad.
His games are exhausting me. He's got his passport and large paintings, jewellery and photos etc at my house. He won't communicate with me about it. It's like he won't tie up the ends.
I don't know what to do. I'm close to tears this morning. I love him but it scares me how little he will care for me.
I know I'm moving on and can't go back. But even that scares me for some reason. That those days are gone. I can't handle it today. Please help me.