Originally Posted by
Shiningstar88 
I love him very much and have stood with him through it all. I just feel like a tiny amount of effort would be nice but maybe I’m being selfish. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you
Hi shiningstar, what a lot of drama and hurt you have been through.
There is a book here that is the most recommended by far - Codependent no more by Melody Beattie. If you can download a copy or get one from your library, it can be so helpful in navigating the often murky waters of dealing with someone with addiction.
No, you aren't being selfish. It's so important (always, but especially now) to focus on looking after yourself and your children (as PW mentioned). This can be difficult if you are someone who has focused on looking after other people and in particular taking care of the whirlwind the addict creates - but it's well worth it. If he is looking out for him and you are looking out for him, who is looking out for you?