What in the world lead you to think she isn't a full-blown alcoholic?
Are the only 'real' addicts the ones sleeping on the streets and spending the day nursing a hangover until they start drinking again?
In my book, any person who can't stop drinking once she starts is an alcoholic. The person who can't live without alcohol is an alcoholic. Drinking is such an integral part of who she is that she equates quitting to changing the essence of who she is! She can't enjoy herself without alcohol.
They will suddenly REALIZE once you stop confronting them and stop trying to hold them accountable for the unnecessary misery they bring to the table.
Says who? Some people do, some don't.
There simply is no way to force somebody to change his/her lifestyle even if that person doesn't want to change. It's not possible. An overweight person can't be forced to eat less or exercise more. One can withhold bariatric surgery until she makes a good faith attempt to control eating, but one can't force it. A diabetic can't be forced to perform insulin injections. A person with mental health issues can't be forced to attend counseling or take medication. None of these things can be forced upon someone. No matter how much the patient's life may improve by doing them, it's still a matter of choice for the person with the issue.
And what you've observed is absolutely correct: caring for her and loving her didn't cure her addiction, either. She doesn't have a problem with her lifestyle. You do.