6 months today
6 months today. Woke up after 10 hours of rock-solid sleep, one cat one top of me, another next to me, brilliant sunshine through the blinds. I savored it.
It was, in short, the antithesis of the way things were. I'll skip the details--we're all familiar in one way or another. And these days I try to keep everything in the present and everything positive.
Today I have a choice and my choice is not drinking. Not because of all the negative associations in the past, or potential implications for the future...but because I feel tremendous well-being that is priceless. The ability to adjust, the ability to make decisions without fear, the ability to set goals and work toward them, people I haven't seen in a while doing a double take and saying "Wow. You look great!"
And can you imagine the irony: I have jury duty this week. A DWI! I have to get up at dawn (which is the middle of the night for me) to get there when the courthouse opens. That could be me in there on the other side of it, or having a couple of eye-openers just to get dressed (or both).
It is also a tremendous weight lifted that my entire life no longer revolves around repeating ad infinitum I'm an alcoholic and anything that goes wrong, and anyone's behavior, is my fault "because my character defects."
It's good to be here and share all that is good. best, SS