It strikes me that you having the order in place means your ex is now having to take on more responsibility / interaction with your son.
Rather convenient for him for you to step back into taking on part or all of that role on again if you don’t renew the order, isn’t it?
Your friends have your best interests at heart—he may be thinking of his own. You need time and space to heal and recover from the previous hurts. When you are healthier and stronger in sobriety, things can be rearranged.
Right now you are just getting some rest and reoriented.
It’s OK to take care of you for awhile. . .
