Ten Years on...
In a little over a month, it will be ten years since I've found it necessary to take a drink of alcohol or smoke a cigarette. I don't often think about my drinking these days. Seems so remote. Yet SR was fundamental in my FIRST attempt at recovery (~14 yrs ago, I think). I spent a lot of time here. Got confident, questioned my alcoholism; it didn't end well. But this place gave me a place of refuge during the two years I remained sober.
Since then I have been a sporadic guest. When one is sober, truly sober, life becomes very full. Even in retirement. I've mentored (I won't say "sponsored," as it implies a much more hands-on relationship) a number of folks. I continue to attend AA for the wannabe's. It is so rewarding to witness the transformation, the birthing of a fully human being.
I write this for the wannabe. Don't settle for just sober. Go for the whole enchilada, or you'll simply be an angry, bitter, and depressed non-drinker. Sobriety means fulfilling your purpose and your promise. A purpose you may have no clue exists yet. Just as we built a life upon habits of suffering, loss, and grief, we can create habits of gratitude, joy, and peace. We learn to be happy with what is granted us. We don't expect life to be free of challenge and suffering, we simply learn to meet it. This is the meaning of serenity.
Do not compare yourself with others. Just be you. Do not believe it when your sick ego tells you that you're not enough. We all have our own causes, conditions, gifts, and liabilities. I remember wanting five years' sobriety in my first 6 months. Yet the miracle occurred within every day of the five years that followed. Those days are part of me. The one trait I observe in most who recover successfully is peace with the way things are, right now. Doesn't mean you don't work toward better circumstances, it simply means that right now is OK. I can accept it. I can be with the way things are. Because no matter what you are lacking in your life, you have your sobriety. You are fully present to meet it. That gives you all the advantages to which you are entitled.
You're enough. Just the way you are. And you're even better if you don't drink. Drinking - it never ends well. It really doesn't. We don't manage it, it manages us. It's simple as that.
Joy,
Warren