Your feelings are common and completely normal.
I went back to drinking after many years sober and I can tell you it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
You may have heard at AA, "If you want to go back to drinking your misery will be gladly refunded."
I'll never forget how horrible in every way I was feeling just before I quit and how hard those first few weeks were. That will see me through.
Escape? Yes, I would like to escape. That was the main reason I drank. There is no real escape though. Any and all problems will be there waiting for me after I drink. For me it's way better to learn to deal with my negative thinking that to just blot it out.