Hello, it is day 1 for me. I'm tired of drinking through the night and waking up late, opening my eyes, and hoping I'm not hungover, wearing the feeling of being reduced to exhaustion, nausea, and impaired memory throughout the day like a shameful bruise. It makes me hate myself and feel like the biggest failure as a father and a supposedly functional adult.
I'm sick of drinking everything in the fridge until I'm straddling buzzed/drunk, wanting more at midnight, and then driving out to get more just to feel like I'm hoarding something I need and I've got enough to keep me safe. I can't keep doing this. It's retarding my life and holding me down in ways I struggle every day to hide from my family and friends.
I wrote down I wouldn't do it and signed and dated it, and will do that again tomorrow. I am glad to find this forum. I will be studying the resources here. I wish you all the greatest strength.