I feel like I either need to move on or try again because this is tourture living this in between existance. Tell him this. Be honest. You may not like the answer you get, but at least you'll know where you stand and it may make the direction you need to go in a bit clearer. FWIW, newly recovered alcoholics are weird and temperamental creatures. We say one thing but do another and don't always make sense. At least I didn't. It takes time for the s**t to get cleared out. I know 3 years sounds like a long time, but in the big scheme of recovery, it's not that long. Figure out what you really really want and lay it on the line with him. Best wishes!