I quickly learned here that booze is a drug. Like meth, pot, coke, opiates etc etc. I was an active addict.
Even though i sometimes would take weeks off of drinking, I would end up drinking too much at some point if the door was open.
Addicts brains are forever damaged and they will always crave. Even folks that drink just a few times a year are in danger of over doing it and ruining their life.
A local millionaire just killed someone while driving too fast while intoxicated. His life as he knew it is over. Another one just crashed while drunk and died in the fire. Dead from being a drunk. Soooooo sad and preventable.
The only way I know to stay clean is to understand I will alway crave and the crave can come on from any trigger. Good, bad, indifferent.
Since you are a runner, you can generate a natural high, whether you feel it or not, you get it. The body creates dopamine etc. when we exercise.
There are other ways to get high on life. Show, movies, books, projects, etc etc. Basically, doing things that are fun and/or nice.
The main thing is I know, personally, internally, and here of course, that I am a drug addict. I am an addict for life. Booze is my drug of choice.
The rest of the world thinks I quit because I decide I don't like booze anymore. I don't like being drunk, I don't like hang overs. This is true as well.
But the real dark truth is I am a drug addict.
I can never ever ever drink again. It will destroy me.
Blah blah blah. Addicts obsess over booze. You will never regret unlearning the addiction.
I have never woke up and wished I had drank the day before. This has never ever happened. There is no net gain from drinking booze. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.
Booze is poison. I hate the stuff.
Love always.
Thanks for the therapy.