Kim, can you imagine how much worse the nightmare would have been if you had been dealing with fallout from your own drinking during all this?
So what is behind the guilt? You didn't make her an addict. Have you considered one-on-one therapy to get to the root of your anxiety? As a recovering codependent who was raised to believe taking care of everyone else's feelings was my sole purpose in life, I can attest that therapy helped me tremendously to move past that and understand that I, too, deserve the attention, time, and energy I was obsessively devoting to others.