LITD
Take care of yourself and the kids. Dealing rationally with alcoholism (irrational) is useless and will just kill your emotional availability for the kids. I was accused of many things which never happened but the alcoholic will put the spotlight on you as the enemy in a heartbeat. It covers its tracks by distraction. Many will believe those lies but over time the truth seems to shine. So know you aren't the 1st. Believe me. I waited, waited, just one more rehab. In the end, I became just as sick in other ways. Started to believe all this stuff. Find people with a healthy marriage and ask for help. Help by going to lunch, help by talking to both of them. Being centered by the truth will help you navigate the insanity which is to come. In my case, I cried and wept of this loss with other Godly men. Ones who prayed over me.
Praying for you.
AG