Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Hi left. I haven't actually had an SO in rehab, however from reading many posts here at SR, no, your story is certainly not unheard of. Rehab romances, people getting attached to someone in their group. These people are looking to fill a void, whatever route that might take depends on the person I guess.
I don't know if this is really a delusion, but of course hope. As it is right now, I would squelch that, she is non-communitive and really just using you and your Daughters to support her life choices. She is with this other man. If she was honest and told you where she is at - that's one thing - that also hasn't happened.
Yes, recovery is a selfish process just by its very nature, however that doesn't mean a person needs to be rude and uncaring all the time, which, from what you have said, she is. How long has she been in rehab?
When was the last time that you did and did she participate? It's only October! I understand this is stress and grief talking, but perhaps one day at a time is a better approach right now?
i took her to rehab right around July 4. There has never been any offer from her to meet with me, even via phone, to dialog about the situation or her absolute burn down of the relationship or family structure of our lives since she’s been in there. She hasn’t requested to see either of her daughters during this time despite it being only 15-20 minutes away. She’s told my daughter she gets 3, 15- minute personal calls a week. It’s been almost a month since she’s called anyone we know of.
so yes, I’m “working on myself” as in physical fitness. Trying to put a smile on my face every day and have increased my daughters activities and my involvement in those. However, I wake up with this on my mind, and most of the day it sits right in front of my or I can see the hurt and turmoil in my perephrual vision. I understand that usually the people closest to the alky get pushed off the personal space island first, only to be replaced by another who doesn’t really know them or the depth of their struggles. I’ve surmised that she may be in her perfect space as the revolving door of lost souls at her facility is never ending, she can commiserate and show false empathy or temporary empathy to these folks, then POOF, they are gone and she’s got a fresh crop to establish a surface relationship with. All the time keeping the paywall of her therapist (in-house) and the facility between her and her real family firmly in place. Probably using the time to follow her BFs legal guidance to build some sort of smear campaign against me. Luckily I’ve got long time family members and friends helping establish a timeline of her behaviors over the years. I wish it were different, but my idea of working through this together has been blown to bits by what’s happening now and the facts of what’s transpired before me with countless other folks.