I literally have a mantra I repeat to myself after I’ve left a situation where someone treats me poorly that I can’t change/control 🤣. After I leave the space/person is not near me, I say to myself “It’s okay if they don’t understand me, because I understand me. My higher power understands me, and that’s enough.” (That is because being misunderstood is one of my trigger buttons, haha).
I give myself time to decompress, maybe eat something, or put bare feet on grass/earth. Listen to music I like. Wait for my heart rate to decrease. Journal or speak to trusted friends if I need to “vent” in order to release the upset. And if a situation gets too aggressive or makes me too uncomfortable, I just leave. Inform them I need time to process or space to cool down before
I can respond well, and then follow through with taking time and space.
Basically, it’s a lot of self-work. My therapist describes it as an “internal boundary.” I can’t not have any interaction, but I can refuse to let their emotions/issues/behavior “in” and I can have an internal boundary where I don’t internalize what they’re saying or doing, and don’t take it personally. I’m learning that if I’m secure in myself and my reality, it doesn’t bother me as much if they aren’t living in the same universe as me. If they misinterpret me and it’s out of my control and they try to make me feel ungrounded. That stems from their problems, and it’s not my job to overcompensate for that!