So sad to read about your sister
@FreeOwl
I do not think the behaviour of your firend is dependent on whatever you do
@TroubleAfoot
My experience is that everything can be an excuse to drink until we are ready to quit. The final trigger is different for everyone. Mine was my anxiety; I got overwhelmed and scared of myself and aware I could not escape anymore from my own body with alcohol so I stopped. I realised I was physically dependent and had to start drinking in the morning or just quit and as I say (and my username says) I got so scared that I decided not to touch alcohol ever again.
Until that moment, a friend 'leaving me alone' or a friend 'enabling' me would have been equally good excuses to keep on drinkng. Good things happening, bad things happening, nothing happening. I knew I was destroying myself; i knew alcohol was the problem (I actually thought alcohol was the only problem; it has been tough to discover I had other ***** to sort out too) but I was not ready to go through the pain of quiting.
This is not about you. He drinks because he is an alcoholic; He is probably sufffering massively all the time but there is nothing you can do to resolve it. In my view, you should just do what makes you feel better whether this is to stick by his side to the end and accept whatever the end is; or to distance yourself.
Sorry you are going through this.