Thank Trailmix, I know there is something fundamentally wrong with me for still needing and wanting someone like this. Or, for thinking that things could be different. I feel so rejected, betrayed, and bewildered. He turned on me like a snake. It has broken my heart into a million pieces. I cry ALL the time. I can't stop thinking about our life and how he was supposed to be there. He told me he would always be there and then after years of sobriety just like that he was gone. He wanted out saying we weren't good for each other and that the constant fighting was too much for him. So I'm to blame because I was always mad at him. He always gets to Look like the victim. He says I do better without him. I mean, could his pity party be any bigger? It's like he can't see what an idiot he is being. Then he wants to stay in touch but only as friends but he says he would do anything for me but only as friends. My head is just spinning.