Originally Posted by
Gru 
In my case, I'm pretty sure he wants to leave, not so deep down. It's me who has been holding the relationship together. He will stay as long as I pretend everything is fine. I've always broken it off then apologized and cried us back together. Without addressing any issues. I gotta break through this and stop living like a wraith. Not to say he won't ruin some of my stuff on the way out. He might do that.But, you never know.
Gru,
I think sometimes we hold on so desperately for so many reasons, fear, codependency, none of them healthy reasons, and we just need to let go and let Spirit guide us.
My AH told me so many times he wanted to leave, and I held on so tightly, told him I would stand by him as I knew his FOO story and how he'd [said he'd] grown up . . . all it did was prolong my misery for 12 years, and then find out later about all the lies, the hidden truths, and that I wasn't standing by him but had become just a way for him to use me to lie to others.
If he tells you he wants to leave, let him. By crying the relationship back together, you're not mourning him leaving or what happened to start the latest go - 'round. You're crying about how you feel about yourself and your situation and giving away your boundaries. Your sacrifices won't change the situation. (You didn't Cause it, can't Change it, can't Cure it).
If something is important to you, put it away the next time he's not at home, otherwise, recognise they are just things, and not the real reason for avoiding the hard conversation.