Originally Posted by trailmix

Well my Mother stuck it out for 20 plus years with 3 children. He was still drinking when she left. Alcoholics don't get sober for other people, they get sober when they are ready to (for themselves) and not a moment before. You have zero control over this. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)

Having an alcoholic parent is a really dysfunctional thing for a child. It affects them long after they have left home (in a nutshell - you can search Adult children of alcoholics for more info on that).

If you read around the forum you will find many threads where the poster has children. There are very (very) few stories where the sober partner has stayed with an active alcoholic partner and it turned out well (in fact I can't think of any). A couple where they stayed after the alcoholic sought treatment and was successful. You can't have a real, deep, relationship with an active alcoholic. There are many stories here of the damage it is doing to the children.