hi 2gether, such a stressful situation to be in.
Well, he's not going to quit drinking anytime soon, I think that is a guarantee. I also think that perhaps that might be a good thing to take on board? Lower your expectations for this - accept that he will drink (regardless of what he says). The benefit is two-fold. You know his is going to drink so that can't keep hurting you and it allows you to make a plan for your life/relationship with him with the acceptance that he is who he is.
The support you have is sparse and that can be really tough. First things first:
- You own your own home now and the police will not remove him. Have you asked him to leave, what is your legal standing with regard to the house? Can you just change the locks while he is out or is he considered a resident and you must give him notice somehow? If you are unsure, I hope you will call your local tenant board, or have a consultation with a lawyer.
Since you can't have him around your child I think that's the first most important step, protecting yourselves.
- Support, you need it! Have you reached out to your local organizations at all? There may be a variety of supports available to you that you aren't even aware of yet. Subsidized child care for instance, financial supports. Once you have all that information you will be better armed to make the decision you need to make.
- Domestic violence organizations have a wealth of knowledge and can probably refer you to a lawyer and let you know about support for you that may be available, or certainly point you in the right direction to get started. Don't be hesitant to give them a call, they are there to help and will be happy to.