I've been sober for the past year & three months...I was an odd duck when I self-referred myself to a recovery program! I had desired to stop drinking & using for about 6 months prior to my soberity, yet was so ignorant that I didn't know there was such a thing as AA or Recovery Programs to get the education I needed in order to stop! I was excited, thrilled, & overly joyed about my first meeting with the counselor in the program and expressed so while on the phone scheduling the appointment by stating that I couldn't wait to meet with him & he laughed at me - I questioned if there was something wrong about my excitement & his reply was "lady, I've been doing this for the past 20 years and not once has there ever been anyone "excited" to meet with me"!! Sometimes I still feel like that odd duck in AA because I've never experience such fears or been ashamed to claim that I'm an Alcoholic/Addict-On occassion, when I so openly share about my membership to AA, I become uncomfortable from the responses I get from people but then I remember that they, too, may be just as ignorant as I once was!! This point of this is that when I hear people like yourself share such gut wrenching feelings and the actions they've taken to grow, the hair stands up on the back of my neck and chill bumps cover my body...I wanna stand up and SHOUT to the world, "YES, YES, YES...THERE'S HOPE"!! How AWESOME you are and what a BLESSING you've given to me & so many other's out there from what you've just shared...Thank You so much & Be PROUD of YOURSELF...You're worth every ounce of more so don't settle for less!! Way to go...We always need a few more of YOU in recovery!
Originally Posted by fran832
After much gut wrenching soul searching denial, I finally did it. I went to an Al Anon meeting last night. I have been passing the church for 6 months. I have printed the meeting schedule out 4 times and lost it 3. I have read posts and threads on this site for 5 months. Finally I drove over there and as I saw all the people in the parking lot I got butterflies. But I called up my friend who has encouraged me over the last year and a half to go to Al Anon, and he told me to get out of my car and just go.
I did. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I was scared to let go of the drama. I wanted to keep what was familiar. But I went. I started crying when the first woman spoke. DAMN I AM SO WEAK....( that is what I felt )Then they took us out of the room for a "first timers" meeting. I lost it when they asked what brought us here. I admitted that three of the people I loved the most in this life were alcholics or substance abusers. My voice cracked and tears rolled down my face as I admitted that I had been so sick the last week. But I felt better. They understood.
It helps to know that someone else is going through the same hell as you. Or they have been there and survived.
If you are still sitting in the parking lot of a meeting. Just open the door and go inside. TAKE CARE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE. YOU !!
Fran
