Originally Posted by
PeacefulWater12 
Interesting discussion, thanks.
As I worked my program, I came to realise that traits I saw as endearing were really my co-dependency in play and other people would view these traits as red flags rather than endearing.
I think we are attracted to people we pity. That we can feel superior too. Ouch!
I feel that alkies and codies are master manipulators. We read each other and provide what the other side wants. Both sides hook each other in with manipulation. BOTH! It is a two way street.
Ouch again. Not pleasant to acknowledge this in ourselves.
PeacefulWater, you are so right. What I now see as red flags, I did not see when I was young nor in adulthood through my multiple relationships. I can see where my attitudes and habits, communications and behaviors were codependent and manipulative. I accept responsibility for my choices, and I'm attempting to end the multigenerational cycle with me.
As I move forward and start making new connections and friendships, I'm being extremely cautious about healthy boundaries. I'm also seeing my children choosing to make healthy boundaries also, so I'm hopeful.