I think my desire for companionship and physical intimacy, combined with fears of being alone is part of it, but not all. I think a larger part of it is my tendency to downplay my own doubts, fears, anger, and feelings when they are against another person's. I tend to value talking care of the people around me over caring for myself, and that combined with my hesitancy against decisive action or conflict keep me from acting in my own self interest. It's almost like I get stuck in a passive rut, and the bad I know is somehow easier than the bad that might be. Coming to terms with the need to push myself to do difficult things is helping me move forward with my divorce and such.