to Eauchiche: Where you note about relying on God:
In my experience, as I have made some very stupid choices in my life, and while owning that I am flawed, that I have sinned, I find it very comforting to hold onto the belief that God is a forgiving father, that He will have mercy; and that there is grace and forgiveness. Perhaps were my spouse to come to know God, he would find the same.
As far as "flying monkeys" go: All the literature I've covered in recent years via vids from MH professionals, etc. -- those shares that give a breakdown, that educate on people, who seem to be "narcissistic" along with those that appear to be their "flying monkeys" -- the ingestion of all that info and keeping in mind the dynamics of those folks that seem to fit that pattern (specifically, the ones I come into contact regulary in my life) and keeping a distance from them has been helpful for me! Were I not to have discerned what was going on by becoming more aware of the manipulation, I would still be in the dark and more likely to fall into the triangulation trap. I am still vulnerable and have to be on guard.