He’s not. And I don’t know why he thinks he’s so awesome. And not the failure he is.
I have raised our children on my own. Literally. I don’t know how I did it but I did. I remember when they all were younger, those days they seemed they were life forever. Having then age 10, 7, 5, 3, newborn..... or any age of 12 and under until my youngest and last was born.... even taking them to theme parks by myself! Open to close. Taking my oldest boys to concerts. Girls to Broadway shows. Youngest always with me like a third leg. On and on this goes. If I took some somewhere others weren’t interested in, finding a place they’d be because never relied on AH, at all. Not once. Music lessons, voice lessons, every interest after school, driving them all. My entire life dedicated to them. Fully. Then, our youngest requiring 24 hour care. More than having a newborn, and doing that along with what I just mentioned. Not complaining. Never said “no I can’t because of your brother....” I just did it with him. Now, most of our kids grown and off except the last two, our near 17 year old and our son who will be 13 a week from today. You know when he was born I was told he wouldn’t see his 3rd birthday. Well, he did! Doctors tell me they believe he’s here because of the wonderful care I have given him. I don’t know if that’s true. But it’s what they say.
All that, I did that. I don’t know how or how I’m even sane at this point. How I haven’t given in to the bed.
I’m that woman. And he treats that woman the way he has!
id rather poke my eye with a fork then treat someone the way he does.
if I never have to hear his hateful, nasty tone, the one he uses when he’s about to flip it on me and stick with that narrative, it’ll be too soon. It’s what keeps me from giving in to the pull I have to call him when I get this idiotic confusion and think I want to talk to him, as if then I’ll feel better. He will love me, I can be wrong and it can all stop. Only I can’t do it because it could go the other way. I could get the other thing if I’m not sorry enough or if I’m too weak of insecure or who the heck even knows. And if I hear that voice, I may end up on an episode of snapped.