Hang in there mama......I have been down that road for many years now. Physically and mentally sick over my son. Worrying everyday about him and his addiction and repeated cycle. Begging him to get help. Offering to help him in any way we could. Thinking that the more love we showed him - the more he would want to get himself sober and clean knowing that he had a family that loved him. Eventually I realized that it is not about me and what I want. It is about him wanting to help himself. Nothing I can do or say will change that. I can only pray for him that he gets sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hugs to you.