Originally Posted by
TheSoberNord 
Morning gang and welcome to the front lines
@goatus45
This thread has been a life saver for me. I wish I would of came here from the very start of my sober journey it might of helped soften the impact of PAWS instead of waiting till I was on the verge of relapsing just so I could feel "normal"
I've been doing alright but I'm still having my moments of weirdness. Like yesterday after I got done eating some lunch I went to go throw something in the trash and I watched it go in, heard the sound and then turned around to look up and something in that 3 seconds weirded out my brain and I could feel the dread come over me. That sudden boxed in feeling, body tensing up and mind starting to race 100mph. Oh s*it, here we go again! Quickly I just found some simple chores to go do to keep my body and mind moving and occupied and after a while the feeling passed. It sucks and I have a lot of these little moments it seems but just a few months ago those little moments were more severe and would last all day long and trying to do ANYTHING that wasn't absolutely needed was impossible.
So things do seem to be approving but I'm not quite out of the woods either. If there's one important lesson I've learned about PAWS is while we all have similar symptoms we all seem to go through it differently. Almost14 months in but this might go on for a few more months or another year or longer but I've made my peace with it and just keep holding on to that feeling that one day I'll look back on this point in my life and be glad I toughed it out and can get on with enjoying the rest of my life sober and on my terms. Because I'm sure as hell ain't going through this bull$hit again!
Hi SoberNord and thank you and Vinny so much for the warm welcome! It’s very scary how we just never know when these weird-in-the-head feelings will hit us. I know exactly what you are talking about with respect to what you described happened to you after lunch. That still happens to me a lot and sometimes it lasts for a few seconds, or it could last for a few weeks. It has caused me to be terrified of driving or going anywhere by myself. I have only driven by myself one time in the last 18 months of alcohol detox and I ended up having a huge panic attack because that head feeling you described hit me while I was driving. I had to call someone and have them talk to me on speakerphone just to drive home. Haven’t attempted an outing by myself since. That was in February- so around 14 months sober. I can go out and walk my dog and ride my bike, but I am still not confident enough to drive somewhere or go in a store by myself yet. I am thankful that I work from home. And I totally agree with you- the determination to never go through PAWS again is what keeps me from using alcohol or cannabis. This has been, by far, the most difficult thing I have ever gone through and I don’t ever want to put myself through this again.