I’ve almost drowned twice and that last time was a rip like that. Lucky my Dad was around. And lucky we both made it out.
But yeah 40 years on I still sometimes wake up from a dream not being able to breathe.
It is traumatic - but self abuse is not the right treatment for trauma BABM. Reach out to a counsellor, reach out to your AA mates.
My relapse will be short-lived
That tense is making me nervous. Make it past tense man.
Your Inner addict is the supreme opportunist. It will use anything. - even something like this - to make you feel like nothing matters, you don’t matter...so why not drink.
You’re not a bad guy BABM. Counselling may also help you unravel this self hatred, self loathing thing.
Pick yourself up. Get help, make amends to your co-worker, and give thanks that you and everyone else, including all the kids, survived.
Survived to get another chance at living life right...right?
As I was reading your post, I initially thought you were using the rip as a metaphor for addiction.
Put the booze down and get help before you get sucked down by a different but just as deadly rip, BABM.
D