There is a part in the big book of AA about a guy that wanted to be successful in business and around 30 or 35 years old I think it was. He decided he had to give up drinking. So he quit for 20 years or so and was very successful in business, he got rich. He went back to drinking. In no time he was back to his old drinking habits. He had all this money to throw at treatments but nothing worked, he was dead from alcoholism in a few years.
All a drink will do now is supercharge the obsession to drink. You are at a point where the ease and comfort of a few drinks are once again front and center in the mind. The more true and relevant memories of the depression and anxiety that are sure to follow are pushed to the back of the mind. Think the drink through. The problems resurface with overwhelming odds against you. We all think we are different, we can beat the game. ALL of us feel this way at some point! That's kind of what makes us alcoholic, possibly even a perquisite now that I think about it, that feeling of being different. I've met so many alcoholics over the years and have heard countless stories. Many different patterns of drinking and/or drug abuse with the same common denominators time and time and time again. We all at some point think, are convinced, my case is different. Here is some angle I can use, and the more we hang on to this idea the more nuts we get.
Think the drink through. Just how brief is the ease and comfort in reality? How long is the misery that follows? How permanent can the damage be from just one night of drinking?
The insanity of alcoholism isn't the crazy things we do when drunk. The insanity is when we are sober and aware of our condition and still want to consume this chemical. Knowing what it does to us. The risk of a big disaster and the certainty of the hangover and depression and anxiety to follow. Just wanting to take a drink is a form of insanity.