I remember the crazy making conversations I used to have with my now exah. My feelings were completely dismissed, my thoughts were twisted and turned and I would walk away feeling so frustrated and confused. My head would be spinning. I would question myself .... is it me? But I never had that problem when I had a conversation with anybody else so I knew it was him. But overtime, he had beaten me down and I started to question myself more.
I would question...is he clean, is he using, is he sober, does he have a mental illness? What I realized was....his problems were way above my pay grade. The why's just didn't matter anymore. I was not going to allow him to abuse me another day. I started to make my plan.....to escape the miserable life I was living. When I was done, I refused to discuss it with him. I refused to tell him all his faults....all the why's. I just simply kept saying...I want to divorce and we have nothing left to discuss. I was firm on that. To do anything more was a just a chance for him to manipulate more.
Have you considered talking to a lawyer? I think it can very empowering to know your legal rights.