Originally Posted by
Aellyce 
I wonder though if you would have seen and speculated about all this in the same way much closer to your quit date - yet another thing we will never be able to test now (fortunately for you). Because perceptions and memories change with time, especially with such a long time you've had since your quit. Don't think I am alone in often finding that my analyses become more realistic as a process advances, although (again) I won't propose that we can truly talk about accuracy with all this.
At the time, I wasn't processing much of this. I was just reacting to events piggy backing on the positive ones to further my commitment to a more solid sobriety, and learning about the traps I would need to watch out for. The deeper mechanics that we are talking about played a part, but I wasn't really aware of much more than my need to nail down sobriety, and how I was going to make that happen. Had you not brought it up, I wouldn't even be thinking about these nuances now.
I do believe I remember the feelings accurately (don't we all?), because that was a monumental turn in my life, and is much clearer to me than things that happened before and after it.