Nobody can understand Chris2 except us folks who suffer from the same affliction. I'm so sorry you are hurting. I have no doubt you were and still are an excellent attorney and loving father. And that fit body is still in there somewhere waiting to emerge from the ordeal. But here is the thing - we open ourselves up and make ourselves large slow-moving targets when we get hammered. Claims that you are bad at everything are so easy to lob towards a scary 3-bottle drinker. And such accusations are nearly impossible to defend against when you are in that state.
You can absolutely have all of the things back that drinking played its part in you losing. Your career, your daughter, your independence and your health. You can have all that back if you stop drinking. That is the first and last step from here on out man.