A2,
I totally agree. No-one knows what another person is feeling, and to presume one does can itself be thoughtless.
My point is that we feel what we perceive the other person's pain to be as though it was our own, but of course they don't feel the same as we would.
I remember when my sister was killed and people would tell my mother that they knew how she felt and she would be so angry because of course they did not.
But that is different from Buck saying I have been where you are at now, I care, and let me know if you want to talk. And I think therein lies the difference -- caring and being there versus presuming to know what the other person is feeling and trying to fix it.
But heh, that is just me.
X